Rainbow

I had my family party today, the last good-bye before I left. About 20 people showed up, we had Italian Beef and other snacks, it was very nice. So good to see those I love before I left, it meant a lot. More showed up than than I thought, they all seem proud and I'm glad they are so proud...because I'm feeling like a lost puppy lately.

My grandma is close to being 91 at the end of next month, I keep asking myself it today if it was going to be the last time I saw her. She couldn't make it to the party, but I went and saw her - when she saw me, she smiled. Piercing blue eyes with total and absolute goodness and unselfishness in that woman's eyes. I can only hope to be the half the woman she has been in the course of my life. Always kind, helping, wonderful and a prime example of unselfishness, care, and all around good nature that you can only find in a human being like her. I told her that I was coming back for Christmas, and that I would see her - she nodded her head and smiled. This is the woman that has been the most important female role model in my life, and I want her to be there, but I think God is calling her to come to him. Sometimes I think that may be better, and I mean that in the most unselfish way.

I left the house, and started driving home. I got onto I-88 and near Aurora and I saw the most beautiful rainbow in my entire life. It wasn't just the one end of the rainbow, it was the whole thing - arching beautifully over the fields, all colors staring me in the face. I saw that rainbow and I cried, arching my neck, straining to see it - the full beauty of it. It started from one end, full and colorful then arched into the clouds and landed far away with the hues just as strong. The rain was relentless, but the rainbow was stronger and I couldn't help but look there and imagine what it means to me. For me a rainbow means total peace and comfort in the fact that I am taken care of, lives will go on, and as long as my love is pure for everything I care for - I will will take strength and believe in that.

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