Monday, February 19, 2007

What's it like?

What is it like to pick up and move to another country for a year? It’s often heard over pints of beer and disgruntled conversations about the government many a time at the local tavern,

“Screw this place. I’m totally packing up and getting out of here. Europe here I come!”

Yes, it’s a fabulous idea! Worthy of consideration after you are drunk on your 6th Old Style…but when you wake up in the morning the thought is completely out of your mind. The scent of your sheets and maybe the person next to you, the promise of the left over pizza in the fridge for your breakfast, and knowing that your favorite TV show is on in only 2 hours - is too tempting to forget the rampant ravings of a free life and backpacking through foreign lands. The smell of those sheets, the scent of the wind coming through the window, and the comfort that comes with your familiar surroundings are the moments that keep you from leaving. Those are the things that make you forget all about packing it up and leaving.

Creature comforts have a more relentless impact on our emotions and well being than you might think. I have heard of some people that sell it all and just buy the ticket and head off, but that has been about two people I’ve known in my whole life, usually after something traumatic has happened to them. What better way to escape life than to start a new one? Of course, it’s so easy!

Unfortunately in my situation, I wasn’t where I wanted to leave anything behind. I had a steady job, a steady relationship, a great apartment, two wonderful cats and a whole load of friends that were always there for me anytime or anyplace. I was given a chance, and I took it even though the anxiety and pain I knew that would be associated with it would come crashing down me eventually. I can surely say that I’ve felt it almost every day since I left. There is a longing that I can’t seem to get rid of, and it is a terrible feeling.

Yes, I am having fun, but there is always that twinge of longing for those little things that meant so much to me and I didn’t even realize it. The smell of my sheets on a winter morning, looking out the window to the snow covered sidewalk, taking my first walk in the spring, late nights out with my girlfriends coming home to my things stacked all around me, and the way I used to look at things with such familiarity…I didn’t even realize I was storing them away for when I left.

I am really blessed to have this opportunity, to live and work in another country, I just wish that I had realized what an effect it would have had in so many areas of my life. In general, I know that this experience will help me in the long run for my development as a person, and also professionally. I don’t think that it’s anything that can’t be recovered, but I know that it will take longer than say…a week trip to the coast.

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