Around 6:00 you and a troupe of other highly intelligent, charming twenty-somethings boarded the train in the Loop. In between counting and re-counting the number of stops until Addison, you passed around a jug of orange juice and vodka as the train filled with commuters heading home. I was mesmerized by the way you blocked the doors without a care in the world other than clutching onto your greasy, loud boyfriend. But what really made me hot was when you vomited on one of your friends, then crumbled to the floor while repeating, "This is like so bad. This is so not right. I am like so upset right now." Good thing your friends wouldn't alight until we reached Addison, though, because you might have missed five minutes of the game! If you read this, please get in touch with me so we can make babies together. I'm sure you'll be an amazing, successful woman in the future.
-Craig's List Chicago
-Craig's List Chicago
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