I have been collecting some basic observations and experiences and would like to grieve share my thoughts with anyone who might decide to move to Germany for an extended amount of time. Hopefully these points can make things a tad easier on you.
1. When you go to any sort of store, do not expect the clerk to say hello, look at you or talk to you. Consider them eternally angry and make sure that you make the purchase as enjoyable as possible for them.
2. At said store experience, bag your own things with your own bag. My preferred method is to stand at the end, bag open and ready for when the check out person shoves my groceries towards me so I can quickly pack them away. Hint: put your groceries on the conveyor belt in the order that you would like to bag them, i.e. heavy items first.
2a. Make sure and have your money simultaneously ready and all your groceries bagged when the next customer comes up. Otherwise, you are making the check out person's day harder than it should be. This takes months of practice, but eventually you will master it like the Jedi bagger that you will become.
2b. Get anything you need before 8 p.m. (in bigger cities, 6p.m. small cities) otherwise you will find yourself hungry at 8:15 and your only option is a Döner Kebab. This also applies to the drugstore, pharmacy and any other place where you "buy things". If you decide to be a rebel and buy something after 8 p.m., expect to pay double and make a trip to the main train station.
3. Don't even think of returning that, it's not their problem and the manger is probably on vacation. Plus, you already opened the packaging which is a big "no go" right there.
4. The light says don't walk, you better not walk or expect to get shunned by the entire community. If you get hit, it's your fault and no, you can't sue (you walked when it was red). If it turns back to red while you are in the crosswalk, run, we don't want to inconvenience oncoming traffic now do we?
5. If you find yourself on public transportation and someone is staring at you intently checking out every single detail of your person, make sure and stare back really hard. The elderly are most known for this and often the culprit of the staring. Staring back works well with them. No, that German guy is not checking you out, he's judging you.
6. Going out to eat consists of three steps. First is ordering, second is getting the meal and third is paying. Just keep in mind you should allow at least 30 minutes between each of these steps, and refer to number 1. for customer service references. If you want a "quick lunch" go get a Kebab.
6a. Don't leave your tip on the table, give it to them directly. Freshen up on your gradeschool math skills. When you get the bill, add your tip, subtract it from what you gave the server and ask for your change. Example: Your bill is 7 Euro, add 1 Euro tip which makes 8. Hand them a 20 and ask for 12 Euros back. Do this fast because your server is probably due for a smoke break.
7. Ice? No, there is no ice. Don't ask for ice either, that makes the server work more. Lukewarm is considered cold here. I once had a German tell me that cold soda is bad for the digestive system.
8. Fill every piece of paper out three times, make numerous copies and get them stamped. Hint: a US Quarter and an ink pad works just as well, they can't tell the difference.
9. Should you find yourself actually driving in Germany, and you come to a four way stop where the lights are out. God speed. Lights are out which means all order has become chaotic, which they do not deal with well.
10. A vowel in a city name can sometimes mean an entirely different city, 50 miles away, in the wrong direction. If you don't speak German, take the city names and line them up one on top of the other and look for the different vowels. For example: Wittenberg, Wittenburg. This exists and it has foiled me.
1. When you go to any sort of store, do not expect the clerk to say hello, look at you or talk to you. Consider them eternally angry and make sure that you make the purchase as enjoyable as possible for them.
2. At said store experience, bag your own things with your own bag. My preferred method is to stand at the end, bag open and ready for when the check out person shoves my groceries towards me so I can quickly pack them away. Hint: put your groceries on the conveyor belt in the order that you would like to bag them, i.e. heavy items first.
2a. Make sure and have your money simultaneously ready and all your groceries bagged when the next customer comes up. Otherwise, you are making the check out person's day harder than it should be. This takes months of practice, but eventually you will master it like the Jedi bagger that you will become.
2b. Get anything you need before 8 p.m. (in bigger cities, 6p.m. small cities) otherwise you will find yourself hungry at 8:15 and your only option is a Döner Kebab. This also applies to the drugstore, pharmacy and any other place where you "buy things". If you decide to be a rebel and buy something after 8 p.m., expect to pay double and make a trip to the main train station.
3. Don't even think of returning that, it's not their problem and the manger is probably on vacation. Plus, you already opened the packaging which is a big "no go" right there.
4. The light says don't walk, you better not walk or expect to get shunned by the entire community. If you get hit, it's your fault and no, you can't sue (you walked when it was red). If it turns back to red while you are in the crosswalk, run, we don't want to inconvenience oncoming traffic now do we?
5. If you find yourself on public transportation and someone is staring at you intently checking out every single detail of your person, make sure and stare back really hard. The elderly are most known for this and often the culprit of the staring. Staring back works well with them. No, that German guy is not checking you out, he's judging you.
6. Going out to eat consists of three steps. First is ordering, second is getting the meal and third is paying. Just keep in mind you should allow at least 30 minutes between each of these steps, and refer to number 1. for customer service references. If you want a "quick lunch" go get a Kebab.
6a. Don't leave your tip on the table, give it to them directly. Freshen up on your gradeschool math skills. When you get the bill, add your tip, subtract it from what you gave the server and ask for your change. Example: Your bill is 7 Euro, add 1 Euro tip which makes 8. Hand them a 20 and ask for 12 Euros back. Do this fast because your server is probably due for a smoke break.
7. Ice? No, there is no ice. Don't ask for ice either, that makes the server work more. Lukewarm is considered cold here. I once had a German tell me that cold soda is bad for the digestive system.
8. Fill every piece of paper out three times, make numerous copies and get them stamped. Hint: a US Quarter and an ink pad works just as well, they can't tell the difference.
9. Should you find yourself actually driving in Germany, and you come to a four way stop where the lights are out. God speed. Lights are out which means all order has become chaotic, which they do not deal with well.
10. A vowel in a city name can sometimes mean an entirely different city, 50 miles away, in the wrong direction. If you don't speak German, take the city names and line them up one on top of the other and look for the different vowels. For example: Wittenberg, Wittenburg. This exists and it has foiled me.
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1 comment:
Wow. Sounds like a lot of work to live in Germany! Thanks for the hot tips.
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