Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Things Outside the Loop

Last weekend I went to Heidelberg with Andy, another person in the program here. I can’t really say we did anything touristy. We got there and proceeded to pretty much starting drinking about 6:00 p.m., then got back around 3:00 a.m. In between were some fireworks, hiking up to the top of a very large hill to a castle – drinking ¾ bottle of Malibu and then going to a party where there was a bathtub full of high quality beer. It was an American/Canadian party – so the beer was ice cold making for a very happy Christine.

While this was all going on, I was not informed that on Friday my cousin, John (Katie’s brother if you know her) was stung by a bee on the back of the head while mowing the lawn. He went inside and complained of dizziness – then collapsed. They called the ambulance and 15 minutes later they arrived and tried to resuscitate him for the next 40 minutes. He fell into a coma and died on Monday.

I am not able to go home to attend the funeral due to the time constraint and I’m in the middle of fucking no where in Germany. It’s a terrible feeling to be so far when you know you are needed, and you know that you need to be there as well.

Needless to say, I have been pretty upset and extremely sad. Yesterday was spent crying and on the phone with friends and family and pacing around my house. Today was not much better, and I missed the first 45 minutes of class because I didn’t quite know how to be around any one. On and off all day I have been fighting tears, trying to make myself strong enough to attempt to understand what has happened and accept that I can not be there to support my family and for me most importantly – my best friend and cousin Katie.

I spent a lot of my childhood around John, because he was Katie’s older brother and although I can not say that we were necessarily close, he still was a staple in my family life. Whenever I think of him, he’s smiling standing tall in Katie’s kitchen and usually on his way to go hunting with his dad, or go fix something in “the shop”. I remember playing GI Joe in his room and staring in awe at all his hunting photos that were up complete with orange camouflage and a deer in the picture.

He leaves behind his mom, dad, grandmother, an older sister, two younger sisters, a younger brother, a wife of one year and high school sweetheart for many, and on our side three aunts, two uncles and around 20 cousins.

Although I doubt there is hunting in heaven, I’m sure there’s plenty of venison sausage for him up there that he’s eating right now with my grandpa.

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